A Forgiving Heart 宽恕的心
The strength to forgive comes from God, who continues to treat us with mercy. By forgiving others, we extend God's mercy to our families and communities. We invite you to read Fr. Ruan's latest bilingual Sunday Scripture reflection, included below in Chinese and then in English:
Scripture Reflection in Chinese
常年期第二十四主日（甲年）
今天，教会在常年期第二十四主日的圣言中，邀请我们默想宽恕。人与人相处，难免有误解、摩擦与伤害。有些事情看似已经过去，心里却仍然耿耿于怀；有些伤口平日不易察觉，一句话、一次相遇，便可能使往事涌上心头。我们知道应当宽恕，却未必知道如何迈出第一步。今天的福音为我们指出一条道路：要学习宽恕别人，先要记起天主怎样宽恕了自己。每当我们真诚悔罪，怀着改过的决心领受和好圣事，天主都赦免我们的罪，赐予我们重新开始的恩宠。主耶稣邀请我们，让这份亲身领受的慈悲，渐渐改变我们对待近人的方式。
伯多禄来到耶稣面前，问道：“主啊！如果我的弟兄得罪了我，我该宽恕他多少次呢？七次够了吗？”（玛18:21）上主日，耶稣教导门徒怎样劝告犯错的弟兄，帮助他回心转意，修复关系。今天，伯多禄进一步提出一个切身的问题：如果对方一再得罪我，我究竟还要宽恕多少次？这个问题，也道出了许多人的心声。宽恕一次，或许还能勉强做到；一而再、再而三地宽恕，便容易令人心灰意冷。我们不禁会想：我已经如此忍让，难道还不够吗？伯多禄愿意宽恕，却仍希望知道一个明确的限度。耶稣回答他，要宽恕“七十个七次”（玛18:22）。主的这句话，使我们看见：宽恕不能停留在计较次数上。只要心中仍握着一本账簿，时时计算对方欠了自己多少，我们便很难真正走出怨恨。
随后，耶稣讲述君王与仆人结账的比喻，把我们的目光从别人亏欠了什么，带回自己领受了什么。一个仆人欠了君王一万金元宝，债台高筑，根本无力偿还。他俯伏在地，恳求主人宽容，并许诺还清一切。他所求的只是宽限时日，主人却动了怜悯的心，释放了他，并免去全部债务（参阅玛18:24-27）。这份恩惠远远超出他的请求。他能够重获自由、重新开始，完全出于主人白白赐下的慈悲。可是，这个仆人一出门，就遇见欠他一百银币的同伴。他抓住对方，掐住他的喉咙，逼他还债。同伴苦苦哀求，所说的话几乎与他刚才向主人说的一模一样。他却毫不留情，把同伴关进监牢（参阅玛18:28-30）。
一百银币虽非微不足道，然而，与主人刚刚免去的巨债相比，两者实在相去甚远。这个仆人的问题，在于他领受了莫大的怜悯，却没有让这份恩惠进入内心。他只记得别人欠了自己什么，转眼便忘记自己蒙受了多大的恩典。主人于是质问他：“难道你不该怜悯你的同伴，如同我怜悯你一样吗？”（玛18:33）这句话点明了整个比喻的核心，也触及我们每个人的良心。我们既然不断领受天主的宽赦，就应当学习推己及人，以慈悲回应近人的软弱。福音结尾的警告十分严肃，耶稣要求我们“从心里宽恕”弟兄（玛18:35）。天主的慈悲白白赐下，也召叫我们真实地悔改。若我们一面恳求祂的宽恕，一面执意拒绝怜悯别人，就需要认真省察：我们是否愿意让祂的恩宠改变自己？
从心里宽恕，需要诚实面对自己的伤痛，也需要逐渐放下报复的愿望，不再以对方受苦作为自己的满足。伤痛的平复往往需要时间，信任的重建也需要悔改与实际行动。面对持续的伤害，我们仍可以设立必要的界限，寻求保护，并维护公义。在这样的过程中，我们依然可以求主保守自己的心，不让仇恨生根，不让伤害决定自己往后怎样生活。宽恕的道路可能并非一帆风顺，但当我们愿意把伤痛带到天主面前，祂的恩宠便能扶持我们，逐渐走出怨恨的束缚。
今天的读经一同样指出怀恨的危险。德训篇提醒我们：当我们向上主祈求宽赦时，也应当省察自己是否仍对近人怀怒（参阅德28:3-5）。我们希望天主体谅自己的软弱，却有时对别人的过失紧抓不放；我们盼望自己的过去获得宽赦，却可能不断翻出别人的旧账。这份反省，邀请我们将心比心，以自己所盼望得到的体谅去体谅别人。德训篇也劝我们记得生命的结局，停止仇恨，并记念至高者的盟约，宽恕近人的过错（参阅德28:6-9）。人生有限，能够用来爱人的时日弥足珍贵。若任由积怨盘踞心中，我们便容易错失眼前行善与修和的机会。记念天主的盟约，则帮助我们看见：无论自己经历怎样的软弱，祂始终信守祂的爱，也不断召唤我们回到祂身边。
今天的答唱咏邀请我们赞颂天主，记念祂的恩惠。感恩能够帮助我们学习宽恕。当我们细数自己领受过的赦免、扶持与忍耐，心便有机会渐渐柔软。我们会发现，自己能够走到今天，同样有赖于天主的慈悲，也有赖于许多人曾经给予的包容。第二篇读经进一步提醒我们：“所以我们或生或死，都属上主。”（罗14:8）我们属于基督，因此，怎样面对伤痛、处理愤怒、解决冲突，也应当接受祂的引导。基督死而复活，成为生者和死者的主。那些我们无力处理的关系、难以启齿的委屈，以及多年未愈的伤处，都可以带到祂面前，求祂医治，求祂带领。
回顾自己的信仰生活，我们已经多少次在告解中，承认同样的软弱？有些过错曾经立志改正，却又一再重犯。然而，每当我们真诚悔改，怀着改过的决心领受和好圣事，天主仍然赦免我们，扶持我们重新起步。祂对我们的耐心，使我们在跌倒之后仍能怀着希望站起来。想到这里，我们也可以扪心自问：我曾多少次求天主给我重新开始的机会？当别人需要我的宽容时，我是否愿意为他留下一条回头的路？当我希望别人不要以一次过失断定我的一生时，我是否也愿意相信，对方能够在恩宠中改变？
宽恕，往往就从生活中的一小步开始。家人的一句话再次刺痛我们时，可以先停下来祈祷，避免以恶言相向；朋友令我们失望时，可以诚实表达自己的感受，给彼此倾听的机会；堂区里的旧事又勾起怨恨时，可以克制传播是非的冲动，为有关的人祈祷，并在合宜的时候寻求沟通与和解。这些选择未必立刻消除伤痛，却能帮助我们逐渐走出怨恨。即使此刻还做不到心平气和，我们仍可以向天主承认自己的困难，求祂赐予我们一颗愿意学习宽恕的心。
亲爱的弟兄姊妹，宽恕的力量，来自那位始终以慈悲对待我们的天主。每一次走近告解亭，每一次获得罪赦，我们都重新领受祂的恩宠，也重新受派遣，把这份慈悲带进家庭、堂区和日常生活。愿我们常怀感恩，记念天主对自己的忍耐；愿我们每次想到别人亏欠了自己，也记得自己怎样一次又一次蒙受宽赦。让每一次领受的宽恕，都成为我们怜悯近人的力量，使天主的爱在我们的言语和行动中结出果实。
Scripture Reflection in English
Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time — Year A
The readings for this Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time invite us to reflect on forgiveness. Misunderstandings, disagreements, and hurt are part of our relationships. Some experiences seem to be behind us, yet resentment remains. A word or an unexpected encounter can bring an old wound painfully to the surface. We know that we are called to forgive, but we may struggle to know where to begin. Today’s Gospel shows us a way forward: to learn to forgive others, we must remember how God has forgiven us. Whenever we approach the Sacrament of Reconciliation with sincere repentance and a firm purpose of amendment, God forgives our sins and gives us the grace to begin again. Jesus calls us to allow the mercy we have received to shape the way we treat our neighbor.
Peter approaches Jesus with a practical question: how often must he forgive a brother who sins against him? Would seven times be enough? (See Matthew 18:21.) In last Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus taught his disciples how to correct a brother who has sinned, seeking his conversion and the restoration of their relationship. Now Peter asks what happens when forgiveness must be offered again and again. His question speaks to an experience many of us recognize. Forgiving once may already be difficult. Repeated offenses can leave us discouraged and exhausted. We may find ourselves thinking: I have already been so patient. How much more can be expected of me? Peter is willing to forgive, but he wants to know the limit. Jesus answers, “not seven times but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). His response calls us beyond keeping count. When we carry an inner ledger, carefully recording everything another person owes us, we struggle to become free of resentment.
Jesus then tells the parable of a king settling accounts with his servants. Through this story, he directs our attention from what others owe us to what we ourselves have received. One servant owes the king ten thousand talents, an overwhelming debt he has no means of repaying. Falling before his master, he begs for patience and promises to repay everything. He asks for more time. Moved with compassion, however, the master releases him and cancels the entire debt (see Matthew 18:24–27). The gift far exceeds the request. His freedom and his opportunity to begin again come entirely from his master’s generosity. Yet when this servant leaves, he finds a fellow servant who owes him a hundred denarii. He seizes the man by the throat and demands payment. His fellow servant begs for patience in almost the same words he himself has just used. He refuses to listen and has the man put in prison (see Matthew 18:28–30).
A hundred denarii was a meaningful sum, and the debt was real. Yet it was small beside the enormous debt the master had forgiven. The servant’s failure was that he received extraordinary mercy without allowing it to change his heart. He remembered what someone else owed him and immediately forgot the gift he had received. The master confronts him: having received compassion, should he not have shown compassion to his fellow servant? (See Matthew 18:33.) This question lies at the heart of the parable and reaches into our own conscience. Since we continually receive God’s forgiveness, we are called to respond mercifully to the weaknesses of others. The Gospel ends with a solemn warning: Jesus calls us to forgive “from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). God freely offers his mercy, and that mercy calls for genuine conversion. If we ask him to forgive us while deliberately refusing compassion to others, we must examine whether we are allowing his grace to transform us.
Forgiving from the heart requires us to acknowledge our pain honestly and gradually relinquish the desire for revenge. It means learning to stop taking satisfaction in another person’s suffering. Healing often takes time, and rebuilding trust requires repentance and concrete action. Where harm continues, we may still need appropriate boundaries, protection, and justice. Throughout that process, we can ask the Lord to keep hatred from taking root and to help us move forward without allowing the injury to govern our lives. The path of forgiveness may be difficult, but as we bring our wounds before God, his grace can sustain us and gradually free us from resentment.
The first reading also reveals the danger of resentment. Sirach asks us to examine the anger we hold toward others when we approach God seeking pardon (see Sirach 28:3–5). We want God to be patient with our weaknesses, yet we sometimes cling to another person’s failures. We hope our past will be forgiven, yet we may repeatedly bring up someone else’s mistakes. These words invite us to offer others the understanding we hope to receive ourselves. Sirach also urges us to remember the end of our lives, set aside hostility, and remain mindful of the covenant of the Most High. Our time on earth is limited, and our opportunities to love are precious. When we allow resentment to occupy our hearts, we can overlook the good we might do today and the possibilities for reconciliation before us. Remembering God’s covenant reminds us that, through all our weakness, he remains faithful in love and continues to call us back to himself.
Today’s responsorial psalm invites us to praise God and remember his gifts. Gratitude can help us learn to forgive. As we recall the forgiveness, patience, and support we have received, our hearts can gradually soften. We begin to recognize how much our own journey has depended on God’s mercy and on the kindness of people who have made room for our shortcomings. The second reading places all of this within our relationship with Christ. Saint Paul reminds us that we belong to the Lord in both life and death (see Romans 14:8). Because we belong to Christ, we are called to seek his guidance in the way we face pain, respond to anger, and resolve conflict. Through his death and Resurrection, Christ is Lord of the living and the dead. We can bring him the relationships we do not know how to repair, the hurts we struggle to express, and the wounds that have remained with us for years.
Consider our own experience of confession. How often have we confessed the same weaknesses? How often have we sincerely resolved to change, only to fall again? Yet whenever we return with genuine repentance and a firm purpose of amendment, God forgives us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and strengthens us to begin anew. His patience gives us hope that, after falling, we can rise again. Remembering this, we can examine our hearts. How many times have I asked God for another beginning? When someone needs my forgiveness, am I willing to leave room for that person to turn back? When I hope others will not define my whole life by one failure, am I also willing to believe that another person can change through grace?
Forgiveness often begins with a small, concrete step. When a family member’s words hurt us again, we can pause and pray before responding harshly. When a friend disappoints us, we can speak honestly about our feelings and make room to listen. When an old disagreement in the parish stirs up resentment, we can resist the impulse to spread gossip, pray for those involved, and seek conversation and reconciliation when appropriate. These choices may not remove the pain immediately, but they can help us move toward freedom from resentment. Even when peace seems beyond our reach, we can acknowledge our struggle before God and ask him for a heart willing to learn forgiveness.
Dear brothers and sisters, the strength to forgive comes from the God who continues to treat us with mercy. Each time we approach the Sacrament of Reconciliation and receive forgiveness, we receive his grace anew. We are also sent to carry that mercy into our families, our parishes, and our daily lives. May we remain grateful for God’s patience with us. Whenever we remember what someone else owes us, may we also remember how often we ourselves have been forgiven. May every gift of forgiveness we receive strengthen us to show compassion to our neighbor, so that God’s love may bear fruit in our words and actions.
Fr. (Joseph) Guozhang Ruan was born and ordained in China. After serving in parish ministry in the Diocese of Mindong, Fujian, he pursued advanced studies in moral theology in Rome, earning a doctorate from the Pontifical Lateran University. Since coming to the United States in 2004, he has served in several parishes in the Archdiocese of New York. He is currently the Director of the Chinese Apostolate for the Archdiocese of New York and Parochial Vicar of Holy Rosary Church on Staten Island. His ministry focuses on serving Chinese Catholics, promoting evangelization, and fostering greater understanding between the Church in China and the universal Church.
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