Praying with the Departed and Those Who Loved Them

By Dr. Michel Chambon, cultural anthropologist, theologian, and Catholic minister

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In a small city in northern Fujian, where I’ve been studying Christian communities for more than a decade, the main church — once a Methodist mission — is home to a large association of elderly folks. Every Thursday morning, more than 200 retirees gather in the church for a time of fellowship and prayer. Despite their fragile health and modest means, these seniors love coming together — to sing, stretch, chat, and enjoy each other's company. But Thursdays are also when they sign up for the funerals happening that week.

Arrival of a Christian Funeral Procession

Every week, a group of them will attend the funeral of a Christian acquaintance. On the day of the cremation, their association arranges for one or two buses from the municipality, making it easy for about fifty senior volunteers to travel to the crematorium. And once there, the group has a well-practiced rhythm. After letting the family know they're present, the seniors line up two by two behind the grieving relatives, who themselves follow the portrait of the deceased, carried in a small procession. Ten or so paper funeral wreaths are brought out, and other seniors change into their outfits and pull out drums and trumpets to form a modest marching band.

What starts as a small family gathering of ten or twenty people quickly grows into a musical procession of more than eighty, making its way toward the funeral parlor.

Inside, a representative from the Christian group gently offers to help with songs and eulogies. Surprised by these unexpected guests, the family, in gratitude for their presence, feels a sense of release from the deceased loved one. For the next thirty minutes, the elderly Christians sing at the top of their lungs and take turns sharing heartfelt words about the departed. Then, one by one, each person steps forward to pay their respects to the deceased in their coffin and to the family before heading back to the bus.

Each Person Pays Respect to the Deceased

Though the appearance of these elderly Christians is brief, it leaves a deep impression on the family. For the children and grandchildren who may have, in many ways, left their elder behind, it comes as a shock to realize that their grandmother had a whole circle of Christian brothers and sisters who cared about her. Often, they didn’t even know she was a believer. And even if they had heard something about it, they had never felt the weight or warmth of what it truly meant.

For some, this prayerful visit by elderly Christians at their grandmother’s funeral will return to them years, even decades later, when they themselves begin to wonder about the meaning of life. In some cases, that memory becomes a path, a way back toward the Christian faith, something like a family treasure they now long to uncover. A way to answer questions, soften a difficult season, or calm an aching heart.

As Christians around the world pray for the souls of the departed, the quiet witness of these elderly Chinese believers gives us something to ponder. As a group, humble and unassuming, they come to pray with a particular soul and that soul’s family. They don't preach. They don’t give grand speeches about the resurrection. They simply show up, visible, tangible, and joyful, but also as a peaceful, loving presence.

And sometimes, that quiet, fleeting appearance plants something deeper than words. Something no one can control, yet something that opens the door to faith.

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Dr. Michel Chambon is a cultural anthropologist, a theologian and a Catholic minister specialized in the study of contemporary forms of Chinese Christianity. As a Research Fellow at the National University of Singapore, he is one of the coordinators of ISAC—the Initiative for the Study of Asian Catholics.

In service of our mission of mutual understanding, friends of the US-China Catholic Association are welcome and invited to share stories and reflections about history, theology, and the life of the Church in China. To submit your story, please email us at communications@uscatholicchina.org.

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